Before We Fractured: Books 1-3 Read online

“What?”

  “I guess I honestly don’t want anything too extravagant. I want a good education to get a good job doing something I can tolerate. I just want to live.”

  “Do you see yourself with a wife and children?” she asked.

  “Are you proposing?” I asked sarcastically.

  “Clearly I’m not on one knee.”

  “Cleary,” I replied. “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know?” she asked in a concerned tone.

  “I’ve seen what losing my mom and brother has done to my dad. That guy will never be the same. He’s lost so much, and he’s super paranoid he’s going to lose me. He’ll call or text, even when I’m in school just to make sure I’m okay.”

  “Are you patient with him about it?” she asked.

  “Totally. I can’t imagine what that guy’s going through. The last thing I would ever want to do is disappoint that man. He means everything to me.”

  “You’re close?”

  “Very…were you close you your dad?”

  “Very. He was one of the most clever and quick-witted people I’ve ever met. He always had something sarcastic to say, even when the situation didn’t call for it. I was a total daddy’s girl. I’m proud to admit that. I’m assuming you were close to your mom.”

  “Oh yeah. I was a momma’s boy. It’s strange but…the older I get, the closer I feel to her. Thirty still feels a ways off, but it doesn’t feel centuries away like it used to…like, my mom was really young when she died. She was only thirteen years older than I am now.”

  “That is strange. She was in the middle of it all, ya know? She was right in the middle of where we’re all working so hard to get to…the prime of life,” Kacey said.

  “I’m thankful in a sense that she didn’t have to see what Cory went through.”

  “You don’t think she did? Do you believe in something after all of this?” Kacey asked.

  “I do. I guess what I meant is, I’m glad I didn’t have to watch her reaction to seeing what Cory went through,” I replied.

  “That makes sense. So, subject change?”

  “’K.”

  “Are we riding with Duke and Lily to prom, or are you going to take me in this?”

  “What?” I asked in a stupor.

  “Are you going to be able to borrow this again? If we all want to ride together, I could take the Rover.”

  “Prom?”

  “Yeah…prom. We dress up, have our pictures taken by our doting parents, dance under the watchful eyes of our teachers to poorly constructed props and backgrounds…prom.”

  “You really wanna go with me? I thought you were kidding…we’d just met,” I choked out.

  “What kind of a harlot lies to a guy about going to prom with him after she just meets him?” she asked while smiling. Her casual tone and the way she composed herself—I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

  “It’s…it’s still a ways off. I’ll understand if you change your mind before then.” With this, she leaned forward, gently placing her hand behind my head, pressing our mouths together. My heart began accelerating—I was waiting to wake up.

  Her approach was soft and slow; there was nothing forward or aggressive about it, but it had my head pounding with excitement. As she pulled away, she kissed my cheek playfully.

  “I like you, Jessie. That isn’t something I say to just anybody, and it’s not something that’s going to change between now and prom. I don’t know what it is…but I really, really like you.”

  “But…but you’re so beautiful,” I said—Idiot!

  “And you’re not? You’re not outrageously attractive?” she said, raising her hand and running her index finger along my jawline.

  “You could literally go with any dude in school,” I replied, my mind still a mush.

  “That’s nice. I’d like to go with you. You down?”

  “Hell yeah,” I said as I leaned forward to kiss her again. Lost in the moment, it threw me off when she chuckled. “What?” I asked as I pulled away slightly.

  “Oh, I’m just lucky I’m not a vampire,” she replied with her eyes half-open.

  “Why?”

  “Because you were all about that garlic tonight.”

  “Oh. My bad,” I said, pulling away more. She instantly leaned in and continued kissing me. As she pulled away and rested her back against the passenger door, I felt like I’d just been kissed for the first time—clumsy, jittery, nervous, and overly excited. But she was still smiling at me.

  “You better get me home, Jess.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “So you two going straight to your place?” I asked Duke as we walked out the door of the school and toward Lily’s parked car.

  “Nah, man. Get this, we’re going to Lily’s pad…get it? It’s like lily pad but it’s—”

  “I get it, D. Dork,” I said, laughing.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “I dunno. Dad has a committee meeting. I might just watch some Netflix or something,” I replied.

  “Or not,” Lily said. “Load up. Come with us to my place. My mom is making spaghetti.”

  “Oh…I’m good. I was—”

  “Don’t make her have to ask you twice, young man,” Duke said sternly.

  “You sure? The last thing I wanna be is a third wheel.”

  “I’m positive, Jessie. Never once did you make me feel like a third wheel when I first started hanging out around you two. You’re good…load up,” Lily said.

  As I climbed in the backseat, my phone started buzzing.

  “Is that Kacey?” Duke asked as he and Lily climbed in the front.

  “Nope…Dad. Hey, Dad,” I said, answering the call.

  “Hey bud. Do you got supper plans?”

  “Yeah. I’m gonna eat with Duke and Lily at her house.”

  “Good. Okay, cool.”

  “So, Dad. I’m a…I’m eating regularly and stuff. Promise.”

  “I know. Just seeing if I needed to grab you a burger or something on my way home.”

  “I’m good. Appreciate it, though. I guess I’m eating spaghetti.”

  “Sounds great, Jess. I love you, bud.”

  “Love you too, Dad.”

  As I hung up the phone, my gaze met Lily’s in the rearview mirror. She turned to me quickly from the driver’s seat. “That’s so sweet, how you talk to your dad.”

  “What?” I asked smiling, slightly embarrassed.

  “You told him you loved him,” she replied.

  “I do. A lot.”

  “Was he making sure you had supper plans?” she continued.

  “Yeah. My dad thinks I’m twelve sometimes…not that I mind him cooking for me. Dude knows his way around the kitchen.”

  “So sweet,” Lily continued.

  “Okay, Lily,” Duke chimed in. “They’re men…not puppies. Dude was just checking in.”

  “Did Kacey say what was wrong?” Lily asked as she turned back around.

  “Not really. I hope it wasn’t the pizza. I’m good, so hopefully it wasn’t that,” I replied.

  As we pulled out of the school parking lot, I thumbed through my text messages to Kacey. The prior evening had been completely perfect—regardless of the dip-can incident.

  I’d spent the entire night thinking about her and was totally disappointed when I learned she wasn’t going to be at school.

  “You two going to go out again?” Lily asked.

  “Hopefully. I know we’re going to prom,” I said.

  “What? Really?” Lily continued. “You already asked her to prom?”

  “Well, um…Duke kind of asked her for me, but as a joke.”

  “Duke hasn’t even asked me to prom,” Lily said as she shot my friend an irritated look.

  “My bad, Lils. I was waiting to see if Jess was gonna ask me first…apparently that’s not going to happen,” Duke replied.

  “Right,” the girl said as she stopped at a stoplight.

  “Lily. You’re going t
o prom with me. I won’t take no for an answer,” Duke said.

  “Thank you,” she replied.

  “Dude, we should all ride together,” Duke suggested.

  “Yeah…Kacey said we could take her mom’s ride. I don’t know. That’s a ways off. I told her I’m not going to hold her to any commitment. I’ll totally understand if she wants to go with someone else by then.”

  “Why would you say that?” Lily asked.

  “I dunno. She’s gorgeous…and she’s new here, like brand-new. She might get asked by someone else.”

  “Jessie, do you not have a mirror at your house? Or maybe you just need your eyes checked. You’re easily one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever met,” Lily said casually, totally catching me off guard.

  Duke looked to his girlfriend, giving her a smirk. “You want me to drive so you can climb back there?” he asked.

  “Whatever, D. You know you’re the best-looking creature God put on this earth,” Lily replied.

  ***

  “Kacey?”

  “Hey, boy. What are you doing?”

  “I’m about to eat with Duke and Lily at Lily’s house. You feeling okay?”

  “Much better. I had a headache, but I think it’s going away.”

  “Good. I was hoping it wasn’t the pizza.”

  “Nope…look, about last night.” My heart felt as though it stopped completely.

  “Yeah,” I said. The disappointment was evident in my voice.

  “I just wanted you to know I meant what I said. I really like you, and I want to get to know you better.”

  “Me too!” I choked out excitedly.

  “Okay, then,” she laughed slightly. “I think we have a lot in common. I think you could be good for me…and honestly, I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

  “That’s…that’s seriously awesome. I was thinking I can’t wait to see you again. Are you gonna be at school tomorrow?”

  “I will…but you could swing by tonight if you want. Sky is supposed to stay completely clear. We could stargaze in the backyard.”

  “I’m there. Your mom won’t mind?”

  “Nope. Mom knows my sense of judgement is even better than her own. She likes you and she hasn’t even met you yet.”

  “You told her about me?”

  “Definitely.”

  “That’s awesome. I was kind of expecting you to tell me you had a change of heart.”

  “What? Why would you think that? I had a great time…I’m just thankful you didn’t make me walk home after I tossed your brother’s dip out the window.”

  “You didn’t know,” I said, smiling largely as Duke appeared on the front porch from inside the house. He grabbed me around the waist and made inappropriate humping gestures from behind as Lily’s elderly neighbors watched in curiosity.

  “Stop,” I said, laughing.

  “What?” Kacey replied.

  “Sorry, Kacey. I’m being assaulted. What time you want me to head over?”

  “Take your time, enjoy your meal. You need a lift or can they bring you?”

  “They’ll bring me.”

  “See you then”

  “Bye.”

  As I hung up the phone, I couldn’t escape Duke’s inquisitive gaze—or my smile. “What, D?” I finally asked.

  “You’re going over there? Tonight?”

  “Yeah. Her mom said it was cool.”

  “I didn’t say it was cool, Jessie Kasper. You have school tomorrow.”

  “Shut up, D,” I said, smiling.

  “My boy…getting so big.”

  “Big and hungry. Is supper almost ready?” I asked.

  “It is,” Lily said as she walked out of the screen door. “I hope you boys are hungry. Mom overdid it and I do not want to eat leftovers all week long.”

  “Have you not seen how your boy eats?” I asked. “We probably won’t even get seconds.”

  “Mean,” Duke replied as he hugged Lily.

  “But seriously. There’s a lot…and it’s on the table.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “There’s so many stars…there’s no way we’re the only ones. There has to be others out there,” Kacey commented as we laid belly-up on a large blanket laid out in her huge backyard.

  “Others?”

  “Others…others out there on other planets.”

  “Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t doubt it. Did you watch the stars a lot in Louisiana?”

  “I did. We had an old trampoline in the backyard, so I would climb on top of it and watch the sky for hours.”

  “Did anybody watch with you?”

  She turned her head to me and smiled. “Is that your way of asking if I had a boyfriend? Or a study buddy?”

  “Um. Yeah. I guess.”

  “There was one boy my junior year. One boy…only.”

  “It’s cool. I’m not the police.”

  “How many girls have you stargazed with?” she asked, grabbing my hand.

  “Just two. I really wouldn’t count the first one if I didn’t have to,” I said, smiling at the sky.

  “And why do you have to?”

  “Because she told every embarrassing detail to the entire sophomore class. Apparently fifteen seconds is some kind of a record,” I said, laughing.

  “She told them that?” Kacey asked with disappointment in her voice.

  “Yep.”

  “What a bitch.”

  “She moved, thankfully.”

  “And the other one?” she asked.

  “We’re still friends. But we haven’t hung out like that in a while.”

  “A while?”

  “A few months after Cory died, she stopped by. She said I looked like I needed stress relief. The next weekend we sat next to each other at a game. She told me she really liked Dalton Hensley and asked me what she should do about it.”

  “What did you tell her?” she asked.

  “I told her to go for it.”

  “Ouch.”

  “What? What do you mean?” I asked in a confused tone.

  “I’m sure she was just feeling you out to see if it was worth pursuing.”

  “It’s not,” I replied, jokingly.

  “Yes, it is. So did she end up with this Dalton guy?”

  “Yep. They’re still together.”

  Kacey rolled on her side and looked down at me—the stars were bright behind her beautiful face. She leaned down and kissed me. The slow, gentle way she took her time with it—it was new to me; I enjoyed it.

  “Kacey?”

  “Yes?”

  “I think you’re gonna be good for me too.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  I honestly didn’t know what to think originally. My head hurt slightly, but that wasn’t what woke me up. It was more of a dull throb between my eyes than an actual headache. But when I lifted my face from the pillow, it clung to me slightly. I touched my face to find it was wet—warm and wet. I sprang from my bed in my boxers and raced to the light switch. My eyes ached at the blinding beams as I pried them open. My pillow, once white, had a large, partially dried blood spot on it.

  I ran down the hall to the bathroom and tore through the door. Much to my horror, my nose was cascading blood. My light brown hair had blood streaked through it. This is it…I’m dying.

  “Dad!” I yelled from the bathroom. My cry for help filled the halls of the silent house. “Dad!” I yelled out once more. Within seconds, I heard his feet pounding up the staircase, racing toward the scene.

  “Jess! What’s wrong?” he blurted out as he clumsily slipped around the doorframe in his socks and pajamas. He stared at me a moment, assessing the situation.

  The walls began coming at me—confining me. I wasn’t bigger than this. This wasn’t something I could define or explain.

  “Take me!” I made out as I turned back to the mirror.

  “You’re okay, bud. It’s just a nosebleed.”

  “No! Dad, take me to the hospital! Please!” I shrieked as my father rushed in
to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from the sink and turning on the faucet.

  “Jessie, bud, I need you to calm down, okay. It’s just a nosebleed, just like you used to get when you were younger. It’s just the change in humidi—”

  “No, Dad! Please,” I begged as I grabbed either side of my head. The anxiety brewing in my gut felt as though it could erupt from my core, spewing my inner being everywhere.

  “Jessie, bud,” my dad attempted to reason.

  “I don’t wanna die,” I wailed as my emotions over took me, crashing me to the floor.

  “Buddy…Jess,” my dad said softly as he sat on the floor beside me. “You’re not gonna die, bud,” he said as he grabbed me, hugging me. He didn’t even seem disappointed in the fact that I was crying.

  “It’s in my head. It’s probably been there the whole time…it probably started there,” I cried out.

  “Jessie, it’s just a nosebleed.”

  “It might not be too late. It may not have spread. Please, Dad,” I pleaded. “Please take me,” I continued as I clenched his flannel pajama top, burying my bloody face into his chest.

  He inhaled deeply and placed his hand on the back of my wet head. “Okay.”

  ***

  “The physician will be in shortly to discuss the C.T. scan with you, okay?”

  “Thank you,” my father replied.

  “Jessie. When was the last time you had your medicine?”

  “At eight yesterday morning,” I said while avoiding eye contact. I was somewhat embarrassed by the situation. When my father and I had arrived, I was wearing a house robe, socks, and boxers with spots of blood on them. I hadn’t even taken the time to clean all the blood from my face.

  “Okay,” the nurse said kindly. She had given me a clean hospital gown before I went to get my head scanned. “Do you mind if I get you cleaned up?” she asked sweetly. She was much nicer than the hateful woman that took care of me the last time.

  “That’s fine,” I replied softly.

  She began wiping my face with a warm washcloth—my eyes and under my chin. I took a moment to reflect on my life—the last few moments of anything close to normality. I knew for certain Dr. Gillium would walk in any second and give me the news. I had a brain tumor—it was inoperable, and it more than likely had spread to other areas of my body. The thought of his words, cruel and cold, sent my bottom lip into a spasm as my body seemed incapable of taking a full breath. I wanted to crawl under the hospital bed and cry.