Before We Fractured: Books 1-3 Read online

  Before We Fractured

  Series

  By Bradon Nave

  Before We Fractured Series

  Copyright © 2017 by Bradon Nave.

  All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: May 2017

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1-64034-103-6

  ISBN-10: 1-64034-103-X

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  JESSIE KASPER

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE

  KACEY MONROE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  DUKE AUSTIN

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

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  CHAPTER ONE

  “I said hold his legs!” the woman screeched. I hadn’t realized I’d been flailing them until she said it. With my arms tightly secured on either side of me, my lungs were begging to scream—begging for breath.

  “You try to kick me one more…”

  “Where’s Dr. Gillium?” the other nurse asked.

  “Hell if I know.”

  Concentrating on their faces wasn’t an option—I couldn’t concentrate at all. The walls and ceiling weren’t simply white, they were blinding. Every nerve in my face felt heated as the blood pulsating violently behind my eyeballs worked to evict them from my face.

  “You’re not getting off this bed! Stop bucking your hips,” she yelled in my ear—and then she grabbed me. Within seconds a riveting dullness was extended from my crotch and into my lower belly. The pain was worse than getting hit in the balls on the court or by one of my idiotic friends passing me in the hall between classes. I felt like either of my boys could literally pop—bust in half within her grasp, she was grabbing me so hard.

  “Let him go,” I heard the other woman say as the pain escalated to a nauseating dizziness that had my stomach on the verge of purging my supper. It was unbearable, but I couldn’t speak; I couldn’t beg her to let me go.

  “What do we have here, ladies? Suzanna, you will take your hands off of my patient,” I heard a deep voice say from behind me.

  “He won’t stop. He’s belligerent,” the woman said as she released me. The initial relief was angelic, but it was quickly followed by a sickening agony throughout my abdomen.

  “Nineteen-year-old-male, Jessie Kasper, found by his father in a severe state of anxiety. This is the second time in two weeks according to dad, but this is reportedly the worst it’s been.”

  “Mr. Kasper,” the man said as he stood over me, touching my shoulder. The pain had somewhat saddled my brain. I could feel myself breathing. “Mr. Kasper, I’m Dr. Gillium. I’m going to give you something to calm down…maybe get some sleep, okay?” he said kindly while touching my shoulder. He then turned his back to me.

  “Get me a catheter kit,” I heard the mean nurse say to the other as she began untying the drawstrings of my sweatpants.

  Until this point my words had failed me, leaving my mouth in grunts, groans, and short yelps, but I knew I had to speak; I couldn’t let this happen.

  “Please!” I finally made out, catching the attention of the doctor.

  “Jessie, do you know where you are?” he asked as he faced me once more.

  “Yes…in the emergency room. I’ll…I’ll do whatever you want. I promise. Please don’t put a catheter in me. Please.”

  “Hold up, girls,” he demanded as I felt the nurse’s hands release my waistband.

  “I’m not babysitting this guy all night.”

  “That will be all, Suzanna. Please go wait for me in my office,” the doctor said as he pulled up a small stool, sitting down face-level to me.

  As the nurses left, I felt the humiliation of the situation mounting as I attempted to run through the events that had landed me leather-strap bound to a hospital bed, gasping for air like a beached catfish.

  “What’s going on, Mr. Kasper? Is something going on at home?”

  Everything went on at home until nothing did—nothing went on at home.

  “No…I didn’t mean to do this. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m certain this wasn’t intentional. Have you ever taken anything for your anxiety before? Any prescription medications?”

  “I took some pills right after…just for a little bit. Not anymore.”

  “And what happens when you start h
aving one of these panic situations? What were you doing tonight right before this happened?”

  “Tell him, bud,” I heard my dad say as he entered the room from behind the curtain. I felt horrible for my father. He had his own issues to deal with, yet here he was again with me.

  “Are you the father?”

  “I am. Joseph Kasper,” Dad said as he shook the sitting physician’s hand.

  “Dr. Gillium.”

  “I know who you are, we graduated together…Jessie, please tell him what you were doing.”

  I couldn’t. Even recollecting the imagery in my mind was too much deal with. “I just want to go home.”

  “And I just want to make sure you’re okay. Please talk to me,” the doctor said softly.

  “He was in front of the mirror again…looking for moles, spots, cancers, or what the hell ever it was. He had a pair of scissors, Gillium.”

  “What?” the doctor asked in a surprised tone.

  “He’d cut off moles he’s had since he was a toddler. This has got to stop. It’s all he talks about.”

  “Cancer?”

  “He’s obsessed, and it’s only getting worse. First his grades, his social life, he don’t even play ball anymore.”

  “Is there a personal or family history of cancer? Did he lose somebody to ca—?”

  “I’m right here, doc. I can hear you.”

  “I know, Jessie. But you won’t talk to me. I need you to talk to me so I can help you.”

  “Can we talk in the hall?” my father asked.

  “Is that okay, Jessie? May I speak with your father in the hall?”

  “That’s okay I guess…I’m not crazy.”

  “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think there’s an issue that needs fixing, and I’m going to find out where I need to get you so that we can start taking care of it, okay?”

  “Where you need to get me? Like send me off somewhere?” I asked frantically.

  “Calm down, Jessie. I have to make sure you’re not a danger to yourself or others. Can you show me quickly where these moles were?”

  “Will you untie me? I swear to God I won’t do anything stupid.”

  He didn’t respond as I felt his hands unfastening the leather strap confining my right wrist. As soon as my hand was free, I scratched my nose.

  “Show me.”

  “Right here by my belly button,” I said as I lifted my T-shirt to show him.

  “That’s a small wound. How big was the mole?”

  “It was small,” I replied as I pointed to my right ankle. “Down there too.”

  As the physician pulled my sock down, I watched his face develop a look of concern. “This one’s larger. You’ve always had these?”

  “I think…I think so. Here too,” I said as I pulled my waistband down slightly over my hip.

  “Jessie…this one’s going to require a few stitches,” he said, examining it closer. “What on earth would cause you to believe these were cancerous?”

  “I don’t know…I know it’s stupid. I get that now. But then, I wasn’t thinking right…my head wasn’t thinking right.”

  “Anymore?”

  “He was trying to get to one on his back when I walked in. It took me nearly a minute to get the scissors away from him and get the bleeding stopped.”

  “We’ll talk in the hall now. Jessie, I’m going to untie your other hand. Look at me,” Dr. Gillium said as he placed his hand on my shoulder. “There will be no shenanigans, do you understand what I’m saying? You’re not going to do anything else irrational, are you?”

  “Nah, I’m good now…my head’s good now.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  “Man, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said, lying as I climbed into his car. The amount of hamburger wrappers on his floorboard was ridiculous. “You should really eat something other than fast food. It’s gonna rot your insides—”

  “You just ignored my texts. I tried to call three times. Don’t say you didn’t have your phone. Your Facebook said you were active on mobile.”

  “Duke, dude. Simmer. I just needed some downtime.”

  “Simmer? There were two cop cars and an ambulance at your house, Jess. Don’t tell me to simmer.”

  As he put the car in drive, I momentarily contemplated telling him everything—at least the majority. He’d been my best friend since the third grade, and his loyalty wasn’t something I’d ever had to question. “Just one of those anxiety things, man…I was embarrassed, dude. I didn’t wanna talk about it. My bad. You butthurt?”

  “Yeah,” he said forcefully as we rode down the street. “I wasn’t trying to interrogate you, man. A simple yeah I’m good, dude was all I was looking for. Would have taken you two seconds, but instead you just leave me to assume the worst.”

  “Okay. I get it. My bad.”

  Duke Austin was stocky—not fat, muscular and broad. The amount of time the guy spent in the gym was mind-boggling. I didn’t understand how he pulled the grades he did. He put little effort into his appearance, but the girls were all over his junk nonstop—especially Lily Thompson. He wasn’t just a good guy, he was one of the best people I’d ever met.

  “What…what happened, Jess? Why was the ambulance there?”

  “I dunno. You going to that carwash the dance squad is—?”

  “Nah, man. No subject change. What happened?”

  “Dammit, Duke,” I snapped as I turned my gaze toward the passenger window. I was typically thankful he’d grown up within walking distance from me, but lately he’d been overprotective. I just wanted to be left alone. I needed space to fade into my thoughts, and he wasn’t having it.

  “It was bad, wasn’t it?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Care to expand on that?”

  “How can I explain something to you that I don’t understand? I don’t know how to put it into words without making myself sound completely crazy.”

  “Dude, just talk. Don’t be stupid. You’re getting all dramatic for no reason—”

  “I started checking myself again.”

  “Your hands?”

  “No, everywhere.”

  “It just got outta hand or what?” Duke asked as we pulled into the gym parking lot two miles from our street.

  “It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like an elephant was sitting on my chest…like your mom was sitting on my chest,” I said, waiting for him to slug my shoulder.

  “Ha! Hilarious. You okay now?”

  “Yeah. I’m gonna see another doctor…a psychiatrist.”

  “Whoa. Well, hell, dude. Maybe it’ll do some good.”

  “Don’t say anything, D.”

  “Twitter, Instagram, Facebook…”

  “Whatever.”

  ***

  At one point in time, I felt intimidated to lift weights in front of Duke. Not anymore. I was one of many who couldn’t compete with the dude in the slightest. He was always cool about it; he never really talked shit. In fact, his motivation and his persistence had helped gain me the chiseled chest, defined arms, and the abdominal muscles I was so proud of. Even he didn’t have abs—too many burgers, I guess.

  “Two more, dude.”

  “I can’t—” I winced out as he grabbed the bar. I immediately sat up from the weight bench.

  “Dude, you always sweat buckets,” he said, tossing me a towel. “You running today?”

  “I thought maybe we’d run later…outside.”

  “Lily’s coming over, man,” he said, grinning.

  “Your mom out this evening again?” I asked, wiping my face.

  “Maybe you just need to get some, man. Take out some of that frustration.”

  “Nah. I got too much going on to worry about that right now.”

  “Hell, at least get some play—”

  “Dude, seriously. It’s not always about that. That’s all you ever think about,” I barked. I instantly regretted snapping at Duke. I hoped he’d realize it was just misplaced anger.


  “Uh, nah, man, it’s not. But okay.”

  “My bad, D.”

  “You’re good,” he said, gulping from the bottle.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just need to get some. I just need some normalcy,” I said while standing up.

  “Nothin’ more normal or natural than getting laid,” Duke said, smiling.

  “I suppose you’re righ—”

  “Jess, are you bleeding? Man, you’re bleeding,” Duke said as he dried the sweat from his dark brown hair and threw the towel to the floor.

  I looked to my hip to see blood seeping through my sweats. “Oh…damn. Yeah.”

  “What happened? Did you run into something?”

  “No,” I said solemnly.

  “Jess. What happened to you?”

  “I thought I saw something. I thought it was a mole like on those cards.”

  “Did…did you do that? Did you cut it off or something?”

  My silence and inability to make eye contact with my friend basically answered his question.

  “Jessie. That’s insane, dude. Does your dad know you did that?” he asked as he walked to me, pulling the waistband down to see. “Jessie!” he snapped. “You had to have stitches? What the hell, dude?”

  “Duke, man—”

  “They’re right, Jess. You need to talk to someone. It’s too much, dude. You’re losing it, bud.”

  “And what would you know about it?” I barked, hitting his hand away from me.

  “He was my friend too!” Duke raged as he stepped closer to me. The veins in his neck bulged, as did his wild eyes. “You’re so damn selfish…you don’t stop to think what it might do to those around you…to lose you too.” He stormed past me—heading for the door.

  His words hurt worse than anything I’d cut away, and I knew he was right; it was insane, I was losing it. I quickly followed him. I made it out the door as he got in his car.

  “Duke! Dude, wait.” As I ran to his window, I found him gripping the steering wheel, his gaze piercing the dashboard. “You’re right. Dude. You’re so right. I gotta get it together, man. Please, dude…you’re the only friend I got left—”

  “We’re cool. Get in.”

  As I buckled my seat belt, I felt the humiliation coming back.

  “You’re my bro, Jess. That’s never gonna change, dude. But you gotta get some help, man. We got one more semester ’til we’re off to college. You’ve gotta pull it together. When are you talking to this doctor?”